Forgiveness: the elixir of relationships

The student in my classroom was mad at her teacher for whom I was subbing recently. I have been in the school on several occasions so I knew both the teacher and student so she and I were talking about what to do.  She suddenly said, “I am going to leave him a note.”  So she quickly wrote this note and left it on his desk: Dear _____,  I hate you.  Love, ____.

I called her over and asked her what she meant as we laughed about the incongruity. She stated, with a smile, that she is still mad but will get over it…. but not until she is through being mad.  I sensed that she rather liked the swirl of the hate/love emotions over the issue.

This student was reflecting the challenge of dealing with the strongest emotions of our human nature. Both emotions can drive us to say and do good and bad.  Both emotions can move us rationally or irrationally to actions that are sublime or harmful.

In our conversation about her anger with the teacher I approached the topic of forgiveness. Sadly it was still distant in her simmering emotions.  Her response was much like most of us who are wrestling with offence.   “Not right now. He has made me so mad.”  It was if the anger was a bit enjoyable.  The power of anger in pushing back on a perceived injustice was too good to let go.  She was commanding attention and forgiveness would ease the tension and the attention.

This experience reminded me that forgiveness truly is the elixir of human relationships. It has the power to cure what ails us. We are not perfect people.  We make mistakes. We offend.   Unless we forgive, pardon the wrong and let go of resentment, we will never feel the joy of unity, peace and contentment in our relationships.  Look at the string of your broken relationships from spouses to friends.  See the history of nations and war.  Observe the tension in the political climate in our nation.

Forgiveness brings freedom from the enslavement of hate. Hate builds walls, forgiveness tears them down.  Hate divides the closest of friends, forgiveness unites broken relationships.  Resist the temptation to walk away from a relationship, whether at home, in your neighborhood or at work.  You will miss the healing power of forgiveness. It is for what ails us.  Just ask the student and her teacher.