Stairway To…

The stairway advertised a ironworks company. Carefully sculpted wrought iron, painted white, and beautifully spiraled for two stories. It was in the middle of a field. The rugged landscape of northern California the backdrop and a strikingly good idea for the company. It is something that catches your attention.

While I am not in the market for a spiral staircase, I am in the life coaching business and love good illustrations that reflect what I hope to accomplish as a life coach. Bottom line is this, or should I say bottom rung? A stairway is no use unless it leads somewhere and a life without purpose is like a staircase in a field that leads to nowhere.

We can spend a life’s worth of energy climbing, climbing, climbing. But if at the end of our work day(s) what if we discover that there is no top floor? We have labored for_______?

New York columnist, David Brooks wrote a few years ago of stumbling across a collection of short autobiographies from the Yale class of 1942 as they celebrated their 50th reunion.(NYT, Oct/18/11) The stories are striking in their honesty. Most had suffered a tragedy: the suicide of a child, blindness, a professional crisis. Many expressed regrets of not taking more career risks.

But what is notable is that for a majority of these graduates, family and friends mattered the most. A large number had marriages of 43 years or more. For the executive, the teacher, the artist, the scientist or the day laborer, the bottom line was not financial. Nor a career position. Nor a retirement life of travel. Nor inventing something new.

As much as our vocations bring fulfillment it is the relationships with family and friends that gets us up in the morning. Having a great job(s) that leads to a satisfying life is important but it is not the only thing. Being so work focused leads to broken relationships. No retiree ever says that he or she wished they had worked more. The memories most often involve the relationships with friends and family, time well spent or missed.

As a life coach, one of my main goals is to help you plan for the top of your staircase. I want to assist as you construct your top floor. And I contend that the core of that floor is relationships. Otherwise a job is just a job, life is just existing, and retirement is filled with “If only…” No more of that. Plan now for a solid top floor.